randomness 2

I am tired. Sick. Had no proper food for breaky- just chocolate biscuits from Fei that I washed down with milk. Wanna puke. Help me. Yuck.

I am tired. Drowsy. Woke up early to open my presents. Yes, I still act like a five year old. And I'm 18 going on 19 in the new year. Shit. That's reminds me, I am getting old. Not that I care. I do, but not about my appearance or anything physical. Oh yes actually, I'm worried about my fertility. Now, that is physical no? Wanna find the right guy, get married and have children. Fast.

I am tired. The long wait for a place in med school is not driving me up the wall. I am sick of having to wait- no damn definite answer. Every day I feel myself giving up hope. Every day, my mind yearns itself towards the glory of Biomedical Sciences. I see myself making it far. Every day I question my abilities. In my heart, I know I'll make a darn good doctor but if deprived of the chance to shine, I can't really help it right? But I mustn't give up hope. I will still cling on to my tiny chances of making it in. Help me pray guys. I need divine intervention. There's no use blaming my UMAT scores. It was all my fault.

I am tired. I was sick of fighting so long ago. Then suddenly yesterday you blew your lid. I wanted to shout back, 'What the hell is wrong with you?' But I know conflict can be avoided if one stays calm and collected. Sure enough, you came to your senses and apologised. It was my fault too. I shouldn't have made that phone call. Only got you in trouble..and made me feel guilty. I shouldn't have doubted you. You're my friend. I trust you.

I am tired. Of choices. Of mere fantasies. But it's a wonder how you can surprise yourself. Little things make my day. It didn't matter if Mr. Caughey was out on the shop floor, or Jill was handing out lollipops. The last hour yesterday, the shop was dead and we spent the last hour having picnics at the countertop and origami lessons.

I am feeling better. Thank you for listening.