Life: oh so vulnerable and fragile

Before I delve deeper my friends, let us put our hands together in prayer. It doesn't matter if you're Christian, Catholic, Muslim, Buddhist, Jewish, or agnostic, let us all observe a moment of silence to mourn the loss of a friend. We together stand as one, and are united by one single fate, and that is life.

I dedicate this post to my friend. A mentor of mine that passed away on Christmas day after a short battle with leukemia.

You came into my life, being larger than life. You came in when I needed direction. Your dad was oh so proud of you. News spread of your great achievement- your great accomplishment of a medical degree at University of Auckland. As someone who had my own aspirations and a proud father myself, we were brought together by a simple twist of fate. My father spoke so fondly of you. You were offered a job opportunity by two hospitals, one in Melbourne, one in Singapore. 'He is a person to look up to,' my father said a few years back. Deep down, though I was still young and didn't want to show it, I looked up to you. You were after all young and ambitious. So capable of achieving your dreams. You seemed to be invincible. Nothing could step in your path. Yes, I thought, I wanted to achieve what you achieved. To be like what you are like. And to make my loved ones proud of me too.

And though I have never met you, I felt an instant connection to you. We are after all bound of the same aspirations and drives. And how strange it is, just by my father's praises of you, I felt joy for you, I felt your happiness of making your father proud. And I think that is why, when dad told me you were diagnosed with leukemia a few months ago, I felt a pang of sadness. This connection that we shared, did it waver? This tragic news, that showed me yet again, pounded so hard into my head, that life is too too fragile, did it falter my own wishes at a supposedly determining time of the year? Did it set me back sadness? That great things happen before a fall? Or was I too ignorant to see it coming?

I was stupid. You were invincible after all. How could you? How could such a great person like you succumb to cancer? Impossible. You knew how it was done. You are, were, after all a doctor. You cured people. Of course you could've cured yourself. People survived. All the time. You would too. I pushed it aside and carried on with my own selfish dreams.

I guess that is why when dad told me of your shocking passing today, the feeling completely drenched me, like cold icy water being poured on you on a chilly winter day. I was sad, shocked, in disbelief. At this couldn't have come at a more ironic time. The time I am trying, hoping for a place in med school. Something you tried out 6 or 9 years ago. How exact, I cannot remember. Again, I feel our connection. Is this my destiny? Everytime I tell myself things happen for a good reason. But what is the reason behind your passing? What is the moral to that story?

And for someone who I haven't met. You have played a huge part in my life. You taught me, ever so indirectly, that life is so darn fragile. Not that I wasn't aware before. So vulnerable. People are dying. Yet I am worried of my med school approval. Absurd. Pathetic. Stupid. Ignorant. JUST BE HAPPY! LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST!