worry not

Yes. I have been feeling rather down lately. I won't call it depression but upset, yes. And thank you for caring, I am sure I will be all right. The fact that I feel miserable is so clear. My patience is running out and yet I feel that my being on the waiting list is a patience test. I can't help it. Is it even possible to be this mad at yourself? I'm not upset because I've let my parents down but more because I've let myself down. It was so close yet so far. If only I hadn't screw up my UMAT test so badly, I could've so gotten in. Directly I mean, without having to endure another excruciating wait. Bloody hell. But I guess, an optimist's view is that the only reason you're still being considered is the fact your grades were almost prefect. So I should rejoice. But where is the mirth? I'm stuck in the middle right now. I cannot rejoice fully with my mates nor can I get over the rejection if it were to materialise and plan my Biomed future with passion. I hope this wait is not meaningless. But upon saying that, I still stand by my principles: everything happens for a reason. I strongly believe in that.

I think there's no better time to pay a tribute to my close mates who didn't make the cut. You guys know who you are and I don't want to name names. My heart still aches for you all. It's their loss, we all know that. Inside, we all know we'll make great doctors, but deprived of this chance to enter med school my buddies, doesn't mean it deprives you from influencing others. Ever so simply, you guys touched my live. What I cannot stand is the imagination of someone's sadistic smirk on their face. But negatives aside, I hope you guys will find something to smile about. Take it as a blessing in disguise. Better things have yet to happen. So let the tears flow, like they no doubt will. But wipe them clean and stand tall again. Have that chin up and look for the silver lining. It's been a wonderful year and I've learnt so much from you guys. People with such strength, goodwill, and determination don't come along easily. I am blessed to have you guys in my life. And though our paths may deviate from one another, may our friendship last a life time.