letting go

Finally I have something to smile about. And looks like my days are getting better. No. It's not like I wasn't happy before in these three weeks of Uni. Weirdly enough, starting Uni again was just like starting it for the first time.. daunting, unpredictable, new challenges..But of course there were the same old faces and the usual smiles and the same league. The remarkable difference was of course the drop in the number of people doing Biomed and the few familiar faces that were no longer sharing the same lecture theatres.... the people who have left for med school. Having to go to Grafton for labs was a painful reminder and I remember vividly the first few times bumping into my old Biomed new Med friends. It was an awkward feeling. There was this unspeakable distance between us, yet we did so well to conceal it. I won't put it down as jealousy, but it's just something about losing out that hurts so much. I don't think anyone can comprehend how I feel, except those who have been through the same as me. Aajuli and I try to talk about it all the time so we can let things off our chest. I assume to talk about it means we're fine and coping well... but no matter how much I try, or have tried, I still think about it all the time.. but lately that has changed. It's like I'm finally letting go... and boy, it's a wonderful feeling.

Losing out the first time should not be our main reason we fall. On the other hand, we should find something to laugh about and try again in the future. Whilst my future still remains undecided and vague, I find great comfort in my present state of being. I don't know whether will I reapply for med school after Biomed. I won't say Never. But even if I do, I might go for the graduate courses overseas. Or I may just go into Medical research. Whatever it is, I'm taking my initial hurdle or obstacle as a blessing in disguise. I will use this time to really analyse my options, get all the necessary information on my possible options and thinking rationally before I embark on any career-related decisions.

So yes. I am happy. I can say I'm loving life right now. Who wouldn't with a superb Physiology tutor Anuj, Tom Cruise look-a-like course mate, Quilter's anatomy, terrific fellow Biomeders, and all the support one needs?